Parkinson's is a disease of an individual, diagnosed as a neurodegenerative disease. The patient is the bearer of the signs of the disease and must constantly adapt his life to the changes that the disease calls for.
From my work with Parkinson's patients and their families I found that this is a disease that dramatically affects the systems surrounding the patient - the couple, the family and the community around him. Turning the spotlight on those around the patient allows attention to the difficulties experienced by the environment.
Addressing the difficulties of the environment enables a better quality of life for the patient himself.
From this understanding, the scripture is dedicated to the sick, to the spouses and family members who accompany the patient.
A relationship begins with the creation of a relationship between two people - a relationship that begins in different ways.
Sometimes a great spark of connection - a connection that contains a common interest, physical and emotional attraction and a desire to embark on a common life path. Sometimes out of expediency and mutual necessity. Sometimes out of choice and sometimes out of little choice.
The ambition is to create a framework in which the power of the two will exceed the one.
Over time, the couple becomes a family, for the great wealth and happiness it invites, but also with responsibility for raising children, making a living, maintaining a beneficial and safe environment for all parts of it.
The couple's daily life becomes a joint dance of sharing tasks between the couple - tasks outside the home (making a living, maintaining relations with the systems outside the family) and tasks inside the home (taking care of the household, educating the children, etc.). In addition to these, maintaining the togetherness, the common connection and the intimate relationship. This dance, to the unique rhythm of each couple and family, creates a routine that allows security here and now and the illusion of security in the future.
When one of the family members is diagnosed with a chronic illness, a fracture is created that requires a change in the marital and family routine that has been created over the years.
There may be a need for a change in the distribution of chores, in personal and family organization, there may be changes in the physical and emotional abilities of each family member.
A change is possible in many areas which requires the marital and family system to adapt again. To produce a new language and a new family communication adapted to the needs and the situation.
In order to find a new balance, the marital, parental and family agreement must be re-opened and renegotiated on the structure of the relationship and relationships.
This change can be created. With the help of good communication, openness to conversation, mutual respect and giving freedom and independence to the various members of the family, you can find the best way to deal with the various challenges.
My name is Noya, I am a social worker, marriage and family therapist who has been accompanying Parkinson's patients, their spouses and family members throughout their lives with the disease for a decade.
In my years of working with Parkinson's patients, I have found many topics related to relationships and family that come up and float among most of my patients - living with the disease, work and livelihood, family ties, bringing in help, independence versus dependence, asking for help, relationships with the children and many other topics.
I invite you to read, think and challenge your marital and family here and now in order to create a better relationship and a stronger family right now - when Parkinson's exists in your life.
You are invited to open your mind and heart - to ask questions and raise issues (in your name or anonymously) that are important to you and I will be happy to address them as much as I can.
I'm here for you for questions, thoughts or raising topics for discussion -
Noya Geva
noya.geva5@gmail.com
