In the current post I will deal with the subject of "the main caregiver of the patient". A subject of great importance which sometimes does not receive the proper and important place it deserves. The main therapist's role is sometimes "transparent". Requires intensive work which often does not receive the reward it deserves - the social, environmental assessment.
The term "primary caregiver" (Caregiver) describes a family member who takes on the responsibility of caring for another family member, who needs assistance in most of his day-to-day activities due to impaired independent functioning due to age or illness.
The roles of the main caregiver are many and varied - from dealing with the bureaucracy of the issue (doctors, banks, approvals, etc.), through assisting in building an agenda for the sick person to taking care of the household and the physical needs of the sick person.
The more severe a person's illness is and affects their functions more broadly, the more the role of the main caregiver grows and expands.
I separate here between the term "paid carer" (that employee who receives a salary for his work) and a main carer who is, usually, a relative who does not receive a salary.
In the past, and in many cases even today, women were believed to take care of the household and family. In the past, and still today in traditional societies, life was in a multi-generational family household and due to this combination of circumstances - the women, traditionally, were the ones who took care of the sick and the elderly within their family unit.
Even today, despite the change in traditional gender roles, most of the main caregivers are still actually main caregivers, usually spouses and mostly they themselves are older and sometimes they are also diagnosed with some kind of illness. (Therefore from now on, in writing the current post, I will use the female form for the main caregiver).
Even though she is not sick in many cases, the main caregiver faces difficulties which sometimes do not fall short of the difficulties experienced by the patient. Where might the main difficulties arise for the primary caregiver?
Physical burden - the physical treatment of a sick person can be difficult, intense and very abrasive. When it comes to short-term mobilization for a specific and transient task (for example after surgery) the load, for the most part, is tolerable and possible. But when it comes to a progressive chronic disease, the burden is great and there is no future to improve. The physical burden will meet the main caregiver starting with housework and often also assisting the patient (shoeing, assistance getting in and out of bed, etc.).
Financial burden - "Illness is an expensive thing..." When there is a sick person at home, the expenses often increase. The treatments are expensive, the medications are burdensome, the necessity to give up working days of the main caregiver (if she is still working) and many more and many different expenses that are added to the household. This financial burden is brought to the door of the main caregiver, who is often required to reduce the expenses she was used to. And often this reduction may harm the beneficial leisure activities that are "not essential".
Social isolation - illness is not something that calls for friends, certainly not a prolonged chronic illness. There is a tendency for the primary caregiver to reduce social interaction for many reasons, among them - lack of time for meetings, fatigue, shame, difficulty taking "time for myself" and more.
Emotional crisis - the workload, the accumulation of pressures, social isolation - and many other factors, can produce an emotional crisis in the main caregiver.
This crisis can be expressed in different feelings such as - anger, nervousness, frustration and sadness which may break out in different circumstances, towards different people but mainly towards the patient himself.
So what can be done to avoid playing the role of the main caregiver?
On the physical side - take care of your health so that you can take care of the patient's health.
Make sure you have medical tests.
Make sure you get enough sleep and rest.
Make sure you have a good and healthy diet.
Be sure to exercise. Physical work at home is not a substitute for regular physical activity. Those who are able to join the class, will also enjoy important social interaction and time "out of the illness". For those who can't reach a bed, a daily walk accompanied by a friend, girlfriend or family member is absolutely suitable.
Be sure to do beneficial activities, outside the home if possible and without the patient (activity with the patient is additional). Although this activity is sometimes accompanied by feelings of guilt, on the part of the caregiver because she "dare" to do it for herself when there is so much to do (at home, with the patient, with the family, etc.). I meet many patients who are happy and cheer for those who are there for them and help them. . For them, this is the least they can do for someone who takes care of them with great devotion.
The economic aspect -
Make sure to exhaust all the rights that are due to you and the patient himself (national insurance, private insurances, etc.).
Meet with a professional in order to make an "arrangement" and understand what the financial options are.
The social aspect - make sure you have some kind of social activity -
Meeting with a good friend once a week (if you can't leave the house, you can also drink coffee together on Zoom).
Sign up for the class you like.
Find a club for the elderly in the neighborhood and try to get involved in the activity (you can check with the municipal welfare services).
and other different options.
The emotional aspect - take care of your mood, it is critical to your mental health but also your and the patient's physical health.
Go talk to a professional who understands the field and can help deal with the various difficulties.
Look for a suitable support group.
Don't be left alone with the difficulties.
Being a primary caregiver for a long time is a difficult and complex task, but also a great reward on the side -
The sense of mission, the meaning and the possibility of providing assistance to a loved one make the task of great value.
About that next time.
